Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Randomize
