if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
