So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Holy sore nipples Batman
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
