there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
