a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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