He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
