so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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