fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize