no, he came in my armpit
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
