Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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