Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
