Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
40s are totally the cure
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
