dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
