i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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