Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize