My Higher Power is John Stamos
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
NoShamevember. You game?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
