You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
