Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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