McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
