In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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