Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
