Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
