Apparently you make a good broom.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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