What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
