I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
