There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
