I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
