i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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