Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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