I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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