the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize