My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
