I wanna passion pit in your ass
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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