where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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