so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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