We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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