if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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