It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
