I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
