I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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