I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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