he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
