He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
