It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
a search helicopter?!
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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