I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Small penises have feelings too.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You're earring is so big in my mouth
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
