I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize