I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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