Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
