drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
