just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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