if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize