If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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