This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
