well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
