turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Randomize