She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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