Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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