just tell him i said nine months
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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