Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
