Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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