you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
