Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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